Overcoming the desire to make human connection easier
Would you have a negative perception of this post if it were written by AI? What about if only the general idea, structure, or theme was generated using an AI model, but the text was written by me? Luckily — or maybe you are worse off for it — this post was entirely written by me (with the help of a grammar corrector) — after reading Joshua Gonzalez’s piece in The Conversation on how the use of AI could undermine the very soul of the “Canadian sorry”. This piece draws on a 2025 article, which studies “how people view those who expend less effort by outsourcing tasks to AI in different ways”. Essentially, both pieces argue that people hold a negative perception of outsourcing socio-relational tasks.
Now I do have a few knocks against the paper. The paper studies British participants, and the sample size (N=3935) is a good first step—but it is far from conclusively demonstrating the negative perception across demographics. I also don’t believe that those who use AI are necessarily always expending less effort. Certainly, that can be the case, but someone can just as easily slap something together without any AI assistance, without any effort. All I'm saying is that being diligent, interacting with the model, and evolving the prompt can be more effortful than lazily putting something together.
Despite these drawbacks, I believe we all would instinctively agree with the article's general premise. That is to say, when it comes to the human connection side of our lives, we would rather that stay between humans. It is important to note that the article's findings do not apply across the range of tasks we, as human beings, need to complete.
So what does the article find?
Broadly speaking, individuals who outsourced tasks to AI were perceived more negatively across several character traits and their work was seen as less meaningful and authentic.
This applies differently to 2 different types of tasks: work and personal.
Work (e.g., writing job applications or computer code): the outsourcer was perceived as lazier and less competent — but not less moral or trustworthy.
Personal (e.g., apology note or love letter): the outsourcer was perceived as inauthentic and less caring about the task. This perception was magnified when the AI output was copied verbatim and when there was no acknowledgement of AI use. Of note, the authors found that this perception persisted even when AI use was acknowledged, the rationale for its use was mentioned, and the outsourcer highlighted the effort put into generating the prompts.
What does this mean for you?
Humans love to find efficiency — and this is one of the key drivers behind the economic and social progress we have experienced. But in continuously optimizing for efficiency, we have undermined the very thing that makes us human. What is the point of all this efficiency when we are lonelier, our social habits have been eroded, and polarization has intensified? AI promises to keep the proverbial efficiency train rolling, but the costs mentioned above are likely to intensify.
You may be asking yourself, "What does this mean for you?" The article highlights — and I agree — that when it comes to our interpersonal relationships, there is no substitute for investing time and energy. People — I know I sure do — value the time and energy you put into maintaining these relationships.
So, as you go about your day interacting with other people, remember:
Inefficiency is appreciated. Maybe the message you wrote is not as elegant or polished as it could be, and it’ll likely take more time than an AI output. But I can almost guarantee that the person on the receiving end will appreciate the human element even more.
Discomfort is powerful. Michael Easter has a great book on how people have over-indexed on comfort and what you can do about it.
Get offline. Time and time again, I keep having to remind myself that the real value in life is found outside of a screen. Don't get me wrong, I am deeply appreciative of technology and will continue to use it. But I also want to make time for the people I care about.
You can stack these three principles to get an especially powerful concoction of love and energy. This could look like writing a text message (by yourself) to some friends asking if they want to go for a hike. Or calling up a loved one and asking if they want to try pottery-making or a dance class. Whatever floats your boat — as long as you employ technology to spend time with the people whom you care about.
Take care,
Emanuel